Why Are There Always Mannequins? – Mastodon State Historic Site #39


2014-03-30 14.27.26It is a fact of my life, cake hunting and otherwise, that when something exciting or fun happens, I can be sure that something equally as sketchy is lurking just around the corner. Such was the case when Mercutio and I continued our journey to the Mastodon State Historic Site to see cake #39.

Cake #39 at Mastodon State Historic Site

Cake #39 at Mastodon State Historic Site

Cake #39 at Mastodon State Historic Site

Cake #39 at Mastodon State Historic Site

Let’s start with the exciting part.

Did you know that in the little town of Kimmswick, MO archaeologists found the first evidence that humans and mastodons coexisted in eastern North America? I had no idea either until cake hunting took us to the location of a bone bed where as early as the 1800s bone fragments and other artifacts were found indicating that humans and mastodons were hanging out together in this area. The findings at this site were so significant that in 1987 the location was placed on the National Register of Historic Places. And until the cake brought us here, I had no idea that this was even a part of Missouri’s history.

Cake #39 at Mastodon State Historic Site

Cake #39 at Mastodon State Historic Site

The cake itself was outside of a museum where, for a small fee, you can watch a quick movie that goes over the history of this site and what was found there. And after you take in the movie, you can walk through the back of the museum, down some stairs, to the actual site where the bones were found. So, of course, Mercutio and I were on board with all of this. Neither of us knew much about the site before the cake outing, and we were both eager to find out as much as we could.

So with open minds, we opened the doors to the museum expecting to be met with an exciting historical adventure. Instead what we found was the ultimate, the absolute worst thing I could have seen: MANNEQUINS, lots of MANNEQUINS.


Completely unnecessary

wpid-wp-1425448083455.jpegOf course, on a day when I was excited to be learning so much interesting historical information, there had to be mannequins. AND to make my life even more horrifying, in order to get to the path that led to the bone bed, the main attraction of the entire trip, you had to pass by not only the sketchy human type mannequins, but also this massive sloth type thing that had it’s tongue out in what, if I’m being honest, was a very menacing way.

Additionally there was a life sized mastodon skeleton towering over everything, which doesn’t really qualify as a mannequin, but I’m gonna lump it in that category anyway, because I did not at all enjoy it looking at me.



Super aggressive

Super aggressive









So clutching Mercutio’s arm with a death grip, and basically having him guide me to the door while I closed my eyes, we finally made it out of the museum to begin our journey to the bone bed. We just had to go down a couple of stairs.

Why can nothing be easy on this trip?

Why can nothing be easy on this trip?

The bone bed itself is pretty much just an area of land with a map next to it saying, “Here’s where we found the stuff” (or, you know, whatever archaeological technical jargon they use to describe stuff), but it was still incredibly awe inspiring to realize that we were walking on the same ground as mastodons and whatever creature that sloth thing was supposed to represent.

2014-03-30 15.05.09And to top off the trip, as we were preparing to climb back up those dizzying stairs to head to the car, we saw something yellow along the trail. When we got closer, we found Mr. Tails, Sonic the Hedgehog’s side kick. Upon seeing this, Mercutio turned to me and said, “You should take a picture of that. It’ll make a good story for the blog.” So I did. And let’s be real, a rogue doll in the middle of the woods is just the icing on the mannequin-filled Mastodon Historic Site cake.



2 thoughts on “Why Are There Always Mannequins? – Mastodon State Historic Site #39

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